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Cats Talk Back: 6 Ways Humans are Total Buzzkills
I write about cats, but almost always from my own human point of view. My cats believe they need a platform for their own opinions, and they say it’s time they get to write a post about humans … namely...
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Texts from Mittens: Another Autocorrect Edition
Oh, that pesky autocorrect function on our smartphones! Even Mittens and Mom aren’t immune to its annoyance. A while back, Mittens posted some of his autocorrected conversations, and it’s time to share...
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Here’s a New Sport for Cats: Competitive Sleeping
Sleeping. Cats take it seriously. I admire their dedication. Their focus. Their energy (or lack thereof). For kitties, it’s never just a nap; it’s a competition as to whose siesta is sweetest, whose...
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Fright Night: 7 Halloween Tricks Cats Would Play on Us
Halloween is right around the corner, and soon we’ll hear the familiar “trick or treat!” phrase from the costumed ghouls and boys at our front doors. Most homes distribute treats, and all is well. Some...
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Take Our Quiz: Which Obscure Cat Superstition Are You?
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the September/October 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. You’re probably familiar with the typical...
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Is There Any Truth to the Term “Scaredy-Cat?” We Ask a Cat
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the September/October 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. Halloween is near, and that got us thinking:...
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7 Ways Cats “Help” Us In the Kitchen
We all know how “helpful” cats are, right? I suppose they’re more supervising than helping, at least that’s what they think — and we play along with it, because who wants to correct a cat? Not me....
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Texts from Mittens: The Casino Edition
Grandma and Drunk Patty are headed to the casino, and Mittens wants some souvenirs. You know, highly swattable things like dice and poker chips. Mom doesn’t like Mittens’ request — that Grandma swipe...
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Bubba’s Bad Advice: I Have No Idea What I’m Doing!
In Bubba’s Bad Advice, Bubba Lee Kinsey, a 14-year-old gray tabby from Kansas City, Missouri, attempts to answer your burning questions and calm your deepest, darkest fears. The only problem: He’s kind...
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Stats & Cats: The Actions of Felines, Illustrated in Pie Charts
“Ah! These cats are a mysterious kind of folk,” the novelist, playwright, and poet Sir Walter Scott remarked to his young protégé Washington Irving as they spent an evening reciting verse,...
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We Ask Stella the Cat if She Is Scared of Cucumbers
Recently we’ve been deluged with videos of cats being scared out of their minds by cucumbers. Here’s one: Why are cats so scared of cucumbers? We’re hard-pressed to say. Some humans don’t like...
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Texts from Mittens: The Whisker Edition
Recently, Mittens has experienced troubling times, mostly concerning his whiskers, namely one whisker. You see, he happened to notice one of his snowy white whiskers had suddenly gotten darker. What...
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What Would Your Cat Swipe From Your Thanksgiving Table?
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the November/December 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. The holiday season is upon us, and many of us...
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We Ask a Cat What She Is Thankful for This Thanksgiving
Dogs are masters of giving thanks. You just have to look in a dog’s direction and he will proclaim himself the luckiest dog alive to have a friend like you, and he will never leave you alone again....
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My Cat Stella Denies Hating Dogs … Then She Recants
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the November/December 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. Typically, my cat Stella is afraid of nothing —...
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Texts from Mittens: The Christmas Presents Edition
Thanksgiving has passed, so of course Mittens shifts his focus to Christmas. Even though he can be a little self-centered at times, he thinks hard about the presents he wants to give his loved ones....
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Which Type of Partygoer Is Your Cat?
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the Holiday 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. Is your cat always up for a good time, or would he rather...
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A Company in Japan Bottles the Scent of a Cat’s Forehead
Breaking news out of Japan this week, as its top scientists successfully bottled the scent of a cat’s forehead for consumption by humans — humans who want to smell a cat’s forehead from a spray bottle,...
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Just Before Christmas, Cat Finally Notices Last Year’s Gift
Editor’s Note: Welcome to the first installment of our periodic Fake Cat News column. We figure cat news can be so serious, and there’s plenty of room to Onion it up. Do not be alarmed, none of the...
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“It’s Me, the Cat”— What Stella Wants for Christmas
Editor’s note: This story originally appeared in the Holiday 2015 issue of Catster print magazine. Click here to subscribe to Catster magazine. The Christmas gift-giving season is upon us, and I just...
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