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I Played Scrabble With My Cat — And He Won
My name is Angie and I’m a Scrabble junkie. I play the board version of the classic word game as well as many online forms. In fact, I recently initiated a weekly Scrabble night in my apartment...
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6 Reasons Why Cats Would Not Win a Marathon
I’m not a runner, but I have more than a few friends who’ve trained for and competed in marathons. I feel tired just thinking about running all those miles, and I have the utmost admiration for those...
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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words About Mealtime
It’s Friday, so that means we gather ’round for our weekly lesson in Fanglish cat slang, an underground lexicon used by our cats when we’re not around. We always come together secretly, though, because...
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Texts from Mittens: The St. Paddy’s Day Party Edition
It’s Drunk Patty’s favorite holiday, and she’s getting in the spirit … by asking Mittens to host a party at his house. How is she expected to host, what with her skivvies hanging all over the house?...
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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words From the Great Outdoors
It’s Friday, friends! You might have enjoyed some St. Paddy’s Day festivities last night, but now you’ll have to get sharp because it’s time for your weekly Fanglish cat slang lesson. Don’t worry —...
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6 Cats Trying to Hatch Objects That Are Not Eggs
Cats believe they’re perfect specimens of loveliness and should have all their desires handed to them on a silver platter. The trouble is, many times it’s humans who must present this platter, and...
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5 Country Music Songs Written by Cats
You might be familiar with the stereotypical country music lyrics: “I lost my dog, my pickup died, my best friend ran away with my girlfriend, and I just downed a six-pack of Bud.” I know that’s a lot...
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7 Selfies My Cats Would Take
Most of us have probably taken our fair share of selfies. Why do we take these photos of ourselves? Based on my own experience, it’s because: 1. We look good and it’s a damn shame no one is around to...
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Texts from Mittens: The Spring Fever Edition
Warmer weather has arrived, and Mom tells Mittens he has spring fever. He has no idea what to do with that information and assumes he needs a vaccination to get rid of it. At least he’s not alone....
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7 Reasons Cats Should Not Work in Coffee Shops
Working in a coffee shop requires speed, concentration, and the ability to multitask. This can be a challenge for even some human baristas. I worked in a coffee shop for about a year, and it’s not for...
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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words Cats Use About Weather
Indoor as well as outdoor cats have relationships with weather. Cats who live primarily inside have a front row seat to the current conditions by way of windows and doors, and of course cats who...
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Texts from Mittens: The Photo Injustice Edition
It has been quite the couple of weeks for our favorite texting cat. Injustices abound, my friends — especially when it comes to photographs. It would seem that Mom has more framed photos of the dogs...
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I Ask My Cat Stella if She Thinks Kevin Spacey Should Play a Talking Cat
Yesterday, the trailer of the new Kevin Spacey-playing-a-talking-cat movie, Nine Lives, landed on the Internet, and everybody seemed to stop and take a look, because Christ, Spacey, you’re playing a...
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6 Groups That Would Award College Scholarships to Cats
My human son graduates from high school this year, and he’s been busy applying for scholarships. I, of course, am all for this! While perusing the sites that list the available awards, I noticed an...
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Texts from Mittens: The May Flowers Edition
It’s almost May, and Mittens has one thing on his mind: flowers. He’s a known flower-chomper, and that’s exactly why Mom doesn’t keep flowers in the house — even the nontoxic ones. This does not bode...
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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words About Dogs
Can you believe another Friday is upon us? It seems like only yesterday we gathered for our weekly Fanglish lesson, and here we are again, ready to gobble up a fresh plate of cat slang. If this is your...
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Friday Fanglish Cat Slang: Words on Routines and Habits
Greetings and salutations! It’s that special time of the week when we come together for a lesson in Fanglish — cat slang. If you’re reading this, you’re part of the inner circle of humans who are privy...
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5 Advice Columns That Cats Would Love to Write
Advice columns for humans have existed for a long time, and they cover a wide range of topics including dealing with relatives who overstay their welcome and guidance on kinky sex practices....
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Texts from Mittens: The Emergency Coding Edition
No surprise: Mittens’ life is fraught with emergencies. He’s finally decided it’s time to begin coding them so everyone knows the severity of one. Sounds like a great plan. right? Mitty thinks so. The...
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Texts from Mittens: The Litter Box Edition
Cats like to know where they can find their litter boxes, and when a box has gone missing — well, that’s cause for alarm. Wouldn’t you know, this is happening to our favorite texting cat? Mom moved...
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